The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
