My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
