A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
