3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
