I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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