Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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