Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
