nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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