i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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