there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
