id be glad to
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
