Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
