well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
