i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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