who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...