please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
