She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary