Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children