i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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