living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize