Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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