Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

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  (248): Great. Don't do shady things like that ok? http://tfl.nu/xavr
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (1251)
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  (818): View more from California

  Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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  (818): Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess? http://tfl.nu/uim6
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (562)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.

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  (205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs. http://tfl.nu/uuhy
  Replies (10) Good night (1738) Bad night (631)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2905) Bad night (1085)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga

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  (410): you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga http://tfl.nu/wuq5
  Replies (45) Good night (5046) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  $22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  math is fun

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  (973): $22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency. (1-973): math is fun http://tfl.nu/2txp
  Replies (31) Good night (5387) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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  (248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm
  Replies (15) Good night (5360) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2812) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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  (928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb
  Replies (17) Good night (3568) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

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  (774): Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual http://tfl.nu/ncxl
  Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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  (319): I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls. http://tfl.nu/wkuc
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.

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  (417): He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/zieg
  Replies (10) Good night (1168) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.

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  (201): It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night. http://tfl.nu/1gt9
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.

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  (407): I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend. http://tfl.nu/eu14
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!

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  (970): It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood! http://tfl.nu/nce0
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (334)

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