the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.