Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant

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  (425): be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/mya3
  Replies (36) Good night (780) Bad night (4728)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (492) Bad night (3474)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

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  (815): His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper. http://tfl.nu/rdz6
  Replies (35) Good night (1899) Bad night (2740)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4112) Bad night (705)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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  (214): Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever. http://tfl.nu/bza6
  Replies (29) Good night (9002) Bad night (1476)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.

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  (216): I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking. http://tfl.nu/dn0l
  Replies (23) Good night (6613) Bad night (833)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  he referred to my room as the tit cave...

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  (210): he referred to my room as the tit cave... http://tfl.nu/3oen
  Replies (9) Good night (1960) Bad night (3501)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.

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  (541): I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up. http://tfl.nu/5d52
  Replies (13) Good night (1373) Bad night (6366)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..

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  (718): i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share.. http://tfl.nu/5uhy
  Replies (11) Good night (3551) Bad night (1095)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot

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  (630): i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot http://tfl.nu/y6a1
  Replies (12) Good night (3389) Bad night (942)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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  (313): When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand. http://tfl.nu/rx8e
  Replies (13) Good night (790) Bad night (1768)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me

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  (706): It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me http://tfl.nu/2th9
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (208)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..

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  (940): Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku.. http://tfl.nu/zv8o
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (202)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (643) Bad night (200)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.

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  (785): I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked. http://tfl.nu/il94
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (144)

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