mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.