Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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  (734): You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia. http://tfl.nu/z7s6
  Replies (15) Good night (1263) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

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  (417): I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon! http://tfl.nu/qgqr
  Replies (20) Good night (4899) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

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  (908): i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie. http://tfl.nu/9olo
  Replies (16) Good night (4479) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.

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  (518): She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids. http://tfl.nu/b0ha
  Replies (7) Good night (3448) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

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  (401): Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song http://tfl.nu/c63n
  Replies (19) Good night (4850) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (8323) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?

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  (646): Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP? http://tfl.nu/u40s
  Replies (154) Good night (11841) Bad night (2124)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."

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  (816): Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid." http://tfl.nu/chp6
  Replies (7) Good night (2526) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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  (918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox
  Replies (6) Good night (1257) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2412) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

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  (715): It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection. http://tfl.nu/qz8n
  Replies (16) Good night (1761) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2603) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

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  (262): Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer? http://tfl.nu/h12n
  Replies (20) Good night (601) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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  (615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27
  Replies (3) Good night (1636) Bad night (394)

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