You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dating After Heartbreak
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book