i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize