At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
