He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
