if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
