Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize