So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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