see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
