I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
