great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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