Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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