waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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