There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
