My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
