You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
