I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize