I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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