I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
