Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
