I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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