he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
