The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
