Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
