I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
