They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
