Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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