So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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