You made me cry and you don't even care
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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