I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
