About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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