I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
