i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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