I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
