hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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