so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
