i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize