no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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