in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
