At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
