Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
