Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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