I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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